The scars that heal

There are times you hold inexpressible pain that come out as a groan or lament. I would use the Bahasa word ‘laungan’ to express that kind of pain. Its like a scream, a wail, a sigh all in one.

Not many people get this kind of pain. For the most part, people who carry these kind of pain don’t bother sharing it with anyone. ‘Don’t bother’ may be an oversimplistic term. They’ve just have had too many ‘brush-over’ comments that they have inherently protected this pain in a shell and buried it five feet under.

Occassionally, they get a little brave and try expressing it. Because well, its not easy carrying so much pain in a shell throughout your life. Often, they are met with situations where they regret sharing too much. But occassionally, they meet with scars that heal.

The scars that heal, well, they come rather unintrusively. A silent gaze from a fellow friend who crouches near and communicates that he/she feels you.

The group of friends who when you say you have pain that is inexpressible, choose to sit with you in silence till the moment passes. Maybe they can’t feel your pain, but somehow that silence they gave, allowed them to share in your grief.

The scars that heal sometimes come rather unexpectedly. A hand that reaches from behind on to your shoulder from behind with no words, just groanings in the Spirit. It breaks you into tears and helps you remember that someone out there cares, and even if the person behind you doesn’t understand, the Almighty has got your back.

The scars that heal come in that coach who understands that healing is a journey. And having walked through the healing of her own family member, calls out the warrior in you and skillfully leaves you in a better shape than when you started.

And then there are the precious tears cried out for you by a seasoned intercessor that only heaven knows.

Trust me, I’ve opened my wounds to some blows. But today I choose to celebrate the scars that healed me. People who somehow understood and who acted in obedience in what they didn’t understand. They brought me closer to the One who truly heals.

I especially want to celebrate a new friend Anne, whom God chose to help heal a deeply buried pain. She had recently came back to church and was rededicating her life to God. In a time of prayer where I absolutely couldn’t open myself up to prayer. She said just one line – that ‘somehow behind the smile is pain.’ No fancy prayer, no ultra spirituality, she probably didn’t even know what she was doing. But from the depths of the wells of God, a comfort hit me that I couldn’t comprehend, and I wailed. And I found that the painful part I buried five feet down a bit more heard, a bit more hopeful, a bit more loved.

Friend, I pray you find scars that heal.