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When ‘paiseh’ goes a little too far: Learning to receive even when you feel shy

There’s a Hokkien term that I grew up hearing – the word ‘paiseh’.

In English, it simply means to be embarrassed, sorry or shy and can be used in various situations. For example, when you accidently stepped on someone’s feet, it is absolutely appropriate to say ‘paiseh, paiseh.’ Another reasonable use of this word is when a person doesn’t know how to feel ashamed in a situation where he should, or ‘tak tau malu’ in Malay terms. In this instance, an example will be, ‘ Hey you, don’t you feel paiseh cutting the cue?’.

The Surrender Box: A 7 step method to processing painful memories

Physical wounds hurt. And if left unattended, can cause some major damage to a person. Emotional wounds hurt, yet they are often not seen. Subsequently, these wounds, if left unattended, can cause serious damage and dysfunction.

We all go through bumps and bruises emotionally. Sometimes the issue is not that big, kinda like a scratch and can be ignored. But what if there are memories or events in our lives that keep coming back – in our dreams, our daily walk, or are triggered by certain situations?

Persistent Love: When your ‘not good enough’ is still ‘not good enough’

I’m no love expert, but these days, the word ‘love’ has taken up many shapes and forms.

From the flippant – I love Ice Cream, to the idealized ‘love at first sight’ in Korean Dramas, the word love has been thrown around throughout the century, often without much thought.

Love has also been somewhat commoditized. Companies liken buying an insurance protection to an act of sacrificial love for a loved one.

When you have to restart from zero: Finding perspective in the midst of loss and devouring

I stayed in the home of an elderly couple about 2 years ago. It was a beautiful experience, one that I will not easily forget. One of the highlights of staying with people who have gone through way more years than you, is the opportunity to sit and listen to their stories.

A letter to my younger self: 5 things I wish that my younger anxious self knew

I’ve crossed the 30+ mark in life. And when you’ve crossed that mark, people say life takes a bit more of a stabilizing turn. I think its true. Maybe it’s because one has learned more and wised up. Or maybe it’s because I have started caring less about the things that don’t matter so much.