There’s a Hokkien term that I grew up hearing – the word ‘paiseh’.
In English, it simply means to be embarrassed, sorry or shy and can be used in various situations. For example, when you accidently stepped on someone’s feet, it is absolutely appropriate to say ‘paiseh, paiseh.’ Another reasonable use of this word is when a person doesn’t know how to feel ashamed in a situation where he should, or ‘tak tau malu’ in Malay terms. In this instance, an example will be, ‘ Hey you, don’t you feel paiseh cutting the queue?’.
However, there is a third aspect of this word, and one that I realise can easily infiltrate the way we relate to God and others in the Kingdom inappropriately. This aspect pertains to the expression of shyness that the term carries. For example, in a situation where someone wants to gift you something really extravagant, or go the extra mile for you, it is typical in my culture to say ‘ No lah, paiseh.’ (When in actual fact you want/need it).
A shyness, or embarassment to receive, may be appropriate and right in certain instances, but when extrapolated towards a refusal to truly receive, can sometimes turn into false humility or ungodly independence. And this I believe, may not reflect the intention of God the Father for us.
It was a lovely Sunday, and after a beautiful service with a relevant message from the vicar, I headed to get some (free) food. Well, in this church, we sort of line up and usually pick two items from the trays in front. Today the menu was pretty vast, with the usual bread but also cake and noodles. And boy, I really wanted some noodles (and cake). But the line I was in was a little further from the noodle and cake pile. So when my turn came, in a cultured fashion, I just asked for the two different types of bread in front of me. Strangely, the person serving me asked, ‘ and is that all?’. At that moment, the ‘paiseh’ me came to the front and I gave a sheepish smile, said ‘yeah’ and went off.
I got a nudge from the Holy Spirit after. Not in a condemning way, and not that the bread wasn’t good. But I realised that the ‘paiseh’ me (that I had tried hard to overcome), had resurfaced. I felt a love from the Father reflected by the person serving me but also thought, ‘ Gee, God knew my heart’s desire then, but I was too shy to ask for more.’ So I received the love note from Abba but reminded myself – its ok to receive and say what you mean next time.
Well, I started to wonder, how many offers from God have I turned down because I was embarrassed, shy or felt underserving of what He wanted to give me? How many of that was out of so called ‘ humility’? How many times have I insisted on giving instead of receiving because it appeared to be the ‘more cultured’ or ‘humble’ thing to do? And how many of His lovely children in Southeast Asia, especially of Hokkien descent, have missed a glorious opportunity to enjoy Papa God’s tangible love simply because they were too ‘ paiseh’?
Let’s get to the Bible, and my thoughts go to John 13, where John depicts Jesus, our humble King, stooping down low to wash His disciples feet. The King of Glory, getting his hands dirty.
When He arrives at Peter, Peter said to him,
“Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
to which Peter defiantly refused saying,
“you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
The Master, the Lord, the Rabbi, coming down to our level, doing a task reserved for slaves. How many of us will refuse like Peter? How many of us will feel we are not worthy to receive such kindness?
Yet it must be so in the Kingdom of God. It must be that we enter in our poverty, humbly realising we can’t help ourselves and humbly asking for help. Humbly receiving first, that we may give of the pure love that God has bestowed upon us so freely.
Someone once explained this passage beautifully: the Christian life involves, first, allowing Jesus to wash our feet; second, washing another’s feet; but also thirdly, allowing others to wash our feet. Receiving first, and then giving and receiving.
My heart (and maybe yours) protest – doesn’t Jesus say that ‘we are to serve and not seek to be served?’
Yes, I believe there is need to serve. The disciples later on served the Lord and were faithful to the point of death. But before the disciples understood true humility, they had to taste it from Jesus first.
But are we too ‘paiseh’?
In a typical ‘paiseh’ situation where children were brought to Jesus, the Lord was indignant at the disciples for preventing the little children from coming freely to Him. He said that we are to receive the Kingdom of God like little children.
Mark 10:13-16
13People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
Have you ever seen your child reluctant to eat the cake you bought for him/her? Most children tuck in with a grin on their face! Yet how many of us come to Jesus with all our accomplishments and religious activity, thinking we have to earn His love, or refusing to receive when He wants to pour out. Jesus’ hands are wide open, but will we receive Him like a little child?
But… we are to be like Jesus right? Jesus came to serve and not be served.
I wondered to, and somehow I was pointed to the passage before in John 12, where Mary of Bethany lavished her alabaster jar of perfumed onto Jesus feet, wiping His feet with her hair.
It was robbery of the poor according to Judas Iscariot, but to Mary, it was worship for her Master who would later lay down His life for her.
And Jesus, knowing He will soon go to the cross and lay down His life for us all, received her extravagant worship.
And maybe the lesson is this, not that we should be mere consumers, constantly receiving and not giving, but to know when is the right time to give and the right time to receive.
Jesus received the ministry that was saved for ‘the day of His burial’ from Mary before washing the disciples feet and dying on the cross for humanity. And actually, Mary, before her extravagant act, received from Jesus by intentionally sitting at His feet and listening to Him (Luke 10:38-42).
And in the Christian life, we are to align our ourselves with God’s rhythm of receiving and giving; of resting and working; of breathing in and breathing out.
And so to all you reluctant receivers out there, remember that we receive in order to give more fully. That at times, it is right to receive, not because we are to be selfish hoarders, but that we may give more extravagantly.
About 9 years ago, while I was serving in ministry, I was plagued by an overly ‘paiseh’ poverty mentality that made it hard for me to receive. I felt that to serve God, I was to be completely abased and poor. I calculated whether i was repaying God enough. I refused to receive in a way that was inappropriate.
But God knew what my heart truly needed. One day, after a fairly large conference, a very prominent minister came to me and gave me a gift of RM500. I refused, but He gently shoved it into my hand and closed my hand, as if to say, take it and receive it.
It ministered to my orphaned heart regarding the Father’s extravagant love , and after that I slowly how much the Father in heaven longs for us to receive.
Later on, I printed some of my art for this minister and left it at his office. The art thing continued, and now I have paperheartpieces as an art blog to gift to you.
Receiving and Giving. Freely you have received, freely give.
No need to be ‘paiseh’.
Discover more from Paperheart Pieces
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Paperheart Pieces 